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小时候，我们时不时都会有这样的想法；渴望快点长大。大人在过年过节时也常常挂在嘴边，念念有词地说“ah boy 啊！祝你快高长大”。

长大真的那么好吗？为什么大人都迫不及待地要我们长大，还特地为我们幼小的心灵拼凑一幅美丽的未来图。他们身为经历过成长的这些大人，在送上这些祝福背后是不是藏着一把大刀，慢慢地看着无知的我们走向一个任由别人宰割的阶段。

“长大后你可以买大大的房子，大大的汽车，可以赚很多很多的钱，买你喜欢的玩具和巧克力”。

好美满啊，怪不得我们小时都有着“我要快点长大”的想法。

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我今年二十二岁，算幼不幼，长不长，处于一个过渡阶段。但是我知道在我懂事之年开始，随着岁数的增加，没有一年是比一年更快乐的。反而是岁数越大，看的东西越多，接触社会不同阶级的人物越广，我才慢慢地意识到，原来长大一点也不幸福快乐，而是被迫去面对这个残酷的现实社会，把理想中的完美世界打破。

我所谓的完美世界，原来是因为我这个家庭，社会接触的族群和父母所打造出来的。

从小，生活就是环绕在父母的呼唤当中。虽然时不时会顶嘴叛逆，但总的来说，我的父母足于给我所需要的一切。无论是在生理或心理，我所看到的世界是一个充满希望，充满着这种活下去的意义。

我很庆幸自己生长在一个幸福齐全的家庭里，只有活到了22岁的今天，才可以初步地说开始摸清楚原来现实社会是那么复杂，那么黑暗的。跟小时所意想的完全不同。

家庭的破裂，阶级职业卑贱的排斥，教育机会的偏差，人生被金钱的束缚，社会的责任等等等等。。。原来社会是聚满这样多不为人（小）知的悲剧，等着我们依依去面对。尤其是在新加坡这个竞争激烈的国土。从小学开始，就不断地往高处爬。想考班上第一，想考进名校，想考进大学 … 但是我们这无畏的追求到头来根本就只是盲目地跟随着族群的影子，毫无自我意识的追求。

成长虽是必然的，但是请不要在小孩幼年的时候种下完美未来的幻想，如果一时接受不了现实的真相，往往就是人生悲剧酝酿的源头。

这学期自己最突破性的变化就是开始从这个封闭的心走出来。从来都不相信人，其实要做到这样已经很了不起了。但是，心里还总是有那很朦胧的感觉。

把自己的心掏出来，虽然感觉的确是挺舒服的，至少那种压迫忧郁感会慢慢消除。但是又意味着这样，心中的防墙在慢慢地被削薄时，又不曾有会回到最终的原点；就是开始怀疑自己掏诉的对象是否根本地在意着。

情感上过于的寄托，恐怕会酿成另外一种感情至上。其实需要的只是一个确确实实真心的知己，这样也算太过分吗？今日的坦诚，会不会造成一段友谊的破裂和情感的错乱呢？至少在理智方面的去向是合法真确的。但是，有多少时候在此情况下可以理智地想而做。

看来还是回到汽水管比较好。无论在里面什么样翻滚挣扎，外表还是一个完美无瑕的铁管。

-煇

Tomorrow when i leave my home holding on to my polling card, i know that i will be making a decision as a grown up citizen of Singapore. A choice that is given to you, for holding on to that “Pink IC” or “Red Passport”. It is only now, that i feel that i am actually really part of the nation building process of Singapore, other than the fact that we guys go through NS, to be able to cast a vote, that can determine the next 5 years of the state of the nation.

This election like what many had said, “watershed election”, the election that is going to change etc etc. Something that i realized from this election is that we Singaporeans, especially the young ones are NOT apathetic towards politics, and that many have our own good reasonable reasons for supporting this party or another. The attendance at various rallies over the week has shown that Singaporeans are concerned about what is in for us, and how these people running for candidacy wants to make life better for us.

Throughout the 9 days of campaigning from both the PAP and the oppositions, putting aside their differences, we all know that fundamentally, it is for the good of Singapore, and US Singaporeans. As polling day comes later, we know that the result of this election will invoke strong emotions in many Singaporeans, judging from the intensive campaigning prior to that. Henceforth, i would like to leave with one message.

Whatever the results for GE2011 tomorrow, whether WP or PAP wins Aljunied, or whether Nicole Seah or Tin Pei Ling gets into parliament, it is the choice of the majority. The choice that over 50% of the valid vote counts that attribute to it, and we must respect that. We must respect what the bulk of the people have chosen to be their voice in the parliament, and be convinced that the other party has not been able to reach out to them in getting their votes.

We must NOT take peace in Singapore for granted, because if unhappiness grows into political riots, there won’t be any PAP, WP or NSP. There will only be SPF and SAF, and we do not want to go into there EVER. (Apart from being called up for reservist) It would definitely be detrimental to our country in ALL aspects.

Think hard, and vote wisely later.

Singapore will still be Singapore on 8th May.